December 2011
sssinkorswim:
druuggs:
This just cracked my shit up.
steeziest nan around
Teacher : What comes after 69?
Student : Mouthwash.
Teacher : Get out.
walks into chair
me: sorry
chair:
Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her...
– Unknown (via lu-ella)
shrek. 16. bi. onions. mud. swamps. gross things. fuck lord farquad. fuck humans. fuck fairytale creatures. i dont need anyone but myself. i eat bugs and eyeballs i truly do not give a fuck. follow for follow.
test: write one to two sentences (minimum) on what you learned over the semester.
me: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing. Did I adequately answer your condescending question?
everyone else: i'm getting an ipad and a laptop and $300 worth of clothes and...
me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK
2 tags
contagonistlove:
“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” I say seductively as I pick up my laptop to so I can continue blogging until 5 in the morning.
Set Fire to the Rain
ripbrentwilson:
you ever read one of those dumb tween girl magazines
and the embarrassing moments are like “this one time I spilled milk on myself at lunch and my crush was RIGHT THERE and he was laughing omg so humiliating”
like honestly if that’s your most embarrassing experience you’re doing pretty well
blaine-anderson:
i wonder if tom hanks just writes “t hanks” in his thank you cards like it’s a message and signature all in one
on the twelfth day of christmas my true love gave to me
12 appletinis
11 bong hits
10 fingers coding
9 hitler cats
8 crimson articles
7 condescending questions
6 glottal stops
5 REFRESH CLICKS
4 asians dancing
3 great lies
2 winklevii
and a friendship damaged beyond repair